Good news! We’ve reached that time of year when new year’s resolutions are making their way towards being discarded as fast as a fourth child’s artwork sails into the recycling bin. Even if you already gave up on your new year’s resolutions weeks ago (dry January fail anyone?), you still have reason to keep reading.

Why? Well, hidden within every failure is an opportunity to laugh at ourselves and recommit to creating the success we’re striving for.

And couldn’t we all use some laughter right about now? The correct answer is yes.

Through interviewing people about their failed relationships, I’ve learned achieving success (regardless of whether we’re talking resolutions or relationships) has is a lot more to do with our ability to recommit to the process that moves us towards success than it is about our ability to move immediately from point A to point B without any stops in between. Let’s laugh together as this non-athlete attempts to use a sports metaphor to further illustrate my meaning, okay?

In basketball, it seems to me being able to dribble the ball has a lot more to do with whether we end up scoring a point than if we can stand at one end of the court and throw the ball to the other to sink the basket. Most people can’t make a basket from half-court, let alone full-court (can anybody do that? I don’t follow sports).

However, I believe it’s safe to say most people can dribble a basketball well enough to move towards the basket and eventually get close enough to shoot the ball and score the point. Success is the point, and the point is success. Get it? Was that too awful? I hope not.

Anyway, edging away from my possibly inaccurate use of a sports-related metaphor, have you heard the saying, “If at first, you don’t succeed you’re running about average”?

As true as I know this statement to be, I still hate it. Like you, I want to succeed the first time, and when I don’t, I’m not above putting on a pouty face, throwing a pity party, or tossing in the towel altogether. Having to do something repeatedly before we get the results we want sucks!

But here’s an idea.

What if this time we laughed at our failure to maintain our new year’s resolution(s), and instead of giving up, we gamely recommitted to trying again? What if we laughed at ourselves repeatedly and reached our goals by the end of the year or (even before), not by doing anything impressive, but through an unlikely combination of wry humor and raw determination?

Wouldn’t that be fun and amazing and completely worth the effort to keep going, even when the work feels impossible and it looks like we’re not getting any closer to scoring at all, but simply dribbling the big dumb metaphorical ball over and over again?

I’d like to think it would be, or we wouldn’t have taken the time to make those resolutions in the first place, right? So how about it, are you up for some laughter as we give those resolutions another try?

Let’s get to it!

Danielle Daily is an Author, TEDx speaker, and Host of The Suddenly Single Show podcast where she brings hope to the heartbroken every week through inspiring interviews released each Monday morning. Find The Suddenly Single Show wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or TheSuddenlySingleShow.com.

Although the Wegmans in Woodbridge has been stocking Halloween candy since at least August 10, kids have gone back to school—distance learning style, and pumpkin spice mania has taken hold everywhere, I’m not ready for fall or the season that follows it — winter.

Cue the tiny violins.

Thankfully, there are still a few bins of ripe peaches at the farmer’s market, my tomato plant hasn’t yet given up on producing small candy-sweet red orbs every few days, and even though I turned on the heat in my car for the first time this week, I’ve decided I’m going to drink the delights of summer down to the very dregs before embracing fall’s apple cider and s’mores.

Is it just me, or does it seem like a not-insignificant chunk of one’s well-being hinges upon our ability to maintain a positive attitude while navigating the gap between what we would wish for and what we are faced with?

I know, compared to the painful changes many are facing — let’s not forget our friends and neighbors who have lost a job, a business, or even a family member to coronavirus — transitioning from summer to fall isn’t a big deal. I’m simply using seasonal change as a light-hearted way to tip-toe us toward the tough subject of mental health and managing changes we don’t want to make.

Two things I consistently hear when interviewing people who have survived life’s very real plot-twists with their mental health intact are: “Get support,” and “there is always the potential for unexpected moments of joy to accompany unwanted change.”

If life is serving you a heaping plate of uncertainty with a side of pumpkin-spiced grief, read on for some tips aimed at helping you find a healthy perspective on change and maybe even help you recognize moments of joy in the thick of chaos.

Tip 1: Seek comfort in knowing your situation will not always look or feel the way it does now. My mom is fond of the saying, “This too shall pass,” and she’s right. Things are always changing, even if it feels like they never will at present.

Tip 2: It’s not necessary to be able to see the silver lining in whatever change you are facing today. However, you could benefit from telling yourself you sure are looking forward to a future where you are.

Tip 3: Start imagining possibilities. When we lose one or more possibilities we gain others. For example, no more peaches at the farmer’s market means local grapes and apple cider donuts.

In all seriousness, if you’re struggling with changes, seasonal or otherwise, it’s worth being honest with yourself about your mental health. Don’t wait to seek help until Seasonal Affective Disorder fully sets in or depression caused by prolonged social distancing keeps you from being able to show up for work.

The most positive and resilient people in your life didn’t get that way one their own. Count me among those who have taken advantage of professional help.

A qualified mental health professional can provide you with the best tools to help you navigate changes you’re facing today, and for years to come. Now, spike the cider and pass the donuts while I go dig out my sweaters.

Danielle Daily is an Author, TEDx speaker, and Host of The Suddenly Single Show podcast where she brings hope to the heartbroken via inspiring interviews released each Monday morning. Find The Suddenly Single Show wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts or at thesuddenlysingleshow.com.

Hamilton. Have you seen it yet?

I may be a little late to the party, but since it was far too hot to be outdoors this past weekend, I sat still long enough to watch it. I don’t know about you, but I could not help but notice the parallels between the historical significance of what Hamilton and the Founding Fathers were living through, and the historical significance of what you and I are living through, right this very moment.

History has its eyes on you, anyone?

Most of humanity will neither witness a global pandemic nor social justice reform, let alone concurrence of both. You and I, my friend, are contributors and witnesses to a historic moment that will swiftly become part of the record of both U.S. and world history.

Just as the decisions and actions of Hamilton et al. are significant because of how they shaped the U.S., the decisions we make and the actions we take in the present are shaping the future for generations of both Americans and global citizens.

Sooner than seems possible, a new generation will find themselves wondering, what was it like to be quarantined? How did social-distancing work? What was the hoopla over wearing masks all about? What made people protest in the streets and tear down statues? How many people died?

I hope the next generation will also ask us the most important question of all: What changed? I wonder, will our collective history of decisions and actions stir feelings of admiration and pride or disappointment, disgust, and anger when viewed through the sharp eyes of history rather than the fingerprint smeared screen of current events?

As Steve Jobs famously stated: “You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward.” What connections and mistakes will we see in retrospect?

As individuals and as a society, we will make mistakes along the way. Historic changes don’t happen every day, and that’s why they feel both urgent and impossibly complicated. If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed by trying to do your part and make it all work, remember Hamilton and Maria Reynolds.

Yeah, Hamilton didn’t handle the pressure of having history’s eyes on him without making some mistakes either. I hope that we write a true and proud history of courage under fire; cooperating to protect the vulnerable, dismantling systems that caused harm to our fellow human beings (specifically black human beings), and ultimately our country’s ideals of liberty and justice for all prevailed.

When you imagine your life writ large, à la Hamilton, would you feel proud of the part you played? If not, why not start doing things differently? After all, there’s no time like the present to make history.

Danielle Daily is an Author, TEDx speaker, and Host of The Suddenly Single Show podcast where she brings hope to the heartbroken via inspiring interviews released each Monday morning.

Find The Suddenly Single Show wherever you like to binge your favorite podcasts or at thesuddenlysingleshow.com.

Lately, we’ve all faced the uncomfortable.

From big uncomfortable things like mounting death tolls and violence to small uncomfortable things like figuring out the right way to wear a mask at the grocery store. Now we’re faced with talking about race and it’s really, really uncomfortable.

Part of my job is to have emotional conversations with people about heartbreak, so I’ve become adept at facing the uncomfortable when it comes to grief and loss.

However, I recently had the opportunity to face the uncomfortable in a fresh way by being part of a live broadcast on race. I learned a lot from that experience, and if you’re looking to confront your own discomfort with talking about race, here are some ways to get started.

First, lean in. There will always be uncomfortable or taboo topics but the floor is now open for talking about race like never before.

Take advantage of it. Be open about what you think you know or what you learned growing up and ask questions so you can grow.

For some, leaning into the conversation about race looks like making signs and protesting, for others it looks like reading books on the subject of race.

If you’re like me, it could look like broadcasting uncomfortable conversations with black friends so others can see how to start a conversation like that and reach new understandings. Whatever your way, leaning in by playing an active and ongoing role in the conversation about race makes you an important part of a historic shift and I know someday you’ll look back and feel proud to have been a part of it.

Second, say yes to vulnerability.

For example, if talking about race is new to you like it is for me, be open about that. Many of us were taught it was wrong to mention race. For me, it feels intensely uncomfortable to call someone black or white.

During the broadcast, I jokingly suggested I would refer to myself as a nude woman because it feels weird to call myself a white woman. How uncomfortable must you have to be before you’d consider calling yourself a color synonymous with naked over calling yourself white? Pretty uncomfortable.

Thankfully, my jest turned out to be a marvelous way for all of us on the broadcast to laugh together and feel more at ease talking about something that had us each feeling vulnerable.

Finally, authenticity is key. Something that really struck home for me was how much authenticity counts here. Before I took part in this conversation about race, I was so worried about saying the wrong thing and causing hurt in an already raw spot I wasn’t saying much at all.

I’m a helper by nature and the idea that my attempts at conversation might come across as patronizing or cause someone pain was scary. During the broadcast, my friend and host Erica, a black woman, encouraged me to follow my heart. Even if I do or say something wrong, acting from that authentic place will allow my sincerity to outshine my gaffe and open the door for further understanding and connection.

When it comes to jumping into the conversation about race, go with your gut on what feels right. Whatever you decide, lean in, practice vulnerability, and remember authenticity matters more than knowing the right thing to say.

Have you already been taking part in the conversation about race? We’d love to hear what you’ve learned.

Danielle Daily is an Author, TEDx speaker, and Host of The Suddenly Single Show podcast where she brings hope to the heartbroken via inspiring interviews released each Monday morning. Find The Suddenly Single Show wherever you like to binge your favorite podcasts or at TheSuddenlySingleShow.com.