Opinion 

Are You Afraid to Die?

In all the intervening years, I’ve never become afraid of dying. I am afraid of pain or a long suffering illness. My biggest fear about dying is not actually dying, it’s about living my last days dependent on others. So many things about the end of life are not about dying, but actually are about living poorly.

I’m adding this video so you can meet a friend of mine, Kathie Conn. Kathie has begun a movement here in Prince William County that has already achieved popularity elsewhere. It’s called a Death Café, and if that sounds morbid to you, I assure you it is not. It is simply an opportunity to talk about death in a way that won’t freak you out or make you say, “e-w-w-w-w”!

When it comes to the question of being afraid to die, I must have asked that question 20 times while walking with my Grandpa. We often “Went for a Walk.” When he asked me if I wanted to go for a walk, I thought in capital letters, like it was the title of a book.

My Grandpa was one of the smartest people I knew. He wasn’t book smart. I don’t think he even finished high school because he was born in 1899 and enlisted in the Army during World War I. I think he may have lied about his age because he fought in that war, was shot and captured and spent time in a prison camp before returning to Jeffersonville, Ind.

He had several shrapnel and bullet wounds and the scars in his shoulder and leg were rough and the edges were jagged, as you can imagine from surgery in a prison camp. He didn’t talk about that much, although I peppered him with questions, especially after we would watch a war movie on television. He always just told me, “When it’s time for you to go, you’ll be ready.”

On our walks, we often traveled through the cemetery because Grandpa knew lots of people there. Some of the stones were beautiful, especially in the Catholic section.  I never had the creepy feeling that kids often experience. I didn’t shriek or “e-w-w-w” if I accidentally stepped on a grave. I think my Grandpa made me understand there was nothing there beneath my feet. Just a box in the ground and the person whose bones were still there no longer existed.

Catholic school had Mass every morning, and of course I went on Sundays, too. The sisters and priests painted a different picture, filling my imagination with people in heaven, seated near Jesus, dressed in white robes, looking healthy and happy. I had a pretty hard time understanding how they could look like that in heaven if their bones were still here on earth. Still, the clergy didn’t scare me about dying, either. I thought it may be pretty cool to live in the clouds, with or without a harp.

Opinion 

So, what is a donation drop box?

It’s possible, depending on where you live in Prince William County, you may not have encountered one. Here, in the Neabsco District, we appear to be inordinately blessed by a profusion of such boxes.

These donation boxes are dropped in parking lots, at  malls, at gas stations and in stub outs for unfinished streets. You may have seen the yellow Planet Aid boxes and considered donating. I don’t recommend you do that and neither does the Institute for Philanthropy. Most of the boxes you see parked all over the community have stories similar to the one in the link.

There are three very frustrating factors at work here:

1. When you donate through one of these boxes, it’s possible you are being misled about the benefit.

2. People see them as an opportunity to dump ALL their junk. (See photos)

3. You may be missing a great opportunity to really provide a benefit to a great organization.

If you think you are donating books to children that have none of their own to read, you may be surprised to learn that most of the books donated are not fit to share, but are simply pulped for paper.

Think for a minute! If you are tossing your books into a box that is merely a small painted dumpster, do you suppose they are landing in there neatly stacked? OK. Face facts. That is just not likely. They sit in those metal boxes in high temperatures.

(heat indicies this week reached 107 degrees…how hot was it in that metal box?)

What happens to papers stored in your attic?

If you have good used furniture, Habitat for Humanity, Prince William, Manassas and Manassas Park is a great place to donate. If you call The Restore, they will come pick up your furniture, as well as any usable construction materials.

If you are remodeling and your appliances or fixtures are still in good shape, they’ll be happy to take those items and if possible, use them in their programs. If not needed, those items will be sold and the profit goes back to Habitat.

There are many other great ways and places to donate your used items including ACTS or the Salvation Army in Woodbridge or Manassas. You can even take your items to the Donation Place at the Prince William County Landfill

One last thing: Prince William County has numerous ordinances regarding these drop boxes. It’s been a long time coming, but enforcement appears to be on the horizon. These boxes are required to be permitted. No box can be placed within 500 feet of another box. Boxes that contain clothing have to be sanitized regularly. 

You can view the regulations at this location and here and view the permit form.

If you see these eyesores, please call Neighborhood Services at 703-792-7018 and be ready to give them the exact location of the donation drop box you are reporting. You can also report via email and add photos.

Opinion 

I recently had the opportunity to interview a very bright young woman, Julia Burks. She is a freshman at Battlefield High School and a Senior Girl Scout working on her Gold Award Project.

Burks had discovered something that many people are not aware of:  There are hungry children, even in the most affluent areas.

This interview heightened my awareness of something that had only been on my radar peripherally: Hunger in America. Julia’s idea, as you’ll learn from the interview, was to solicit help, organize and distribute lunches to students who were recipients of free breakfast and lunch during the school year, but had no options during summer vacation.

This concept is exactly the type of project I think works best: A problem is recognized, solutions identified and action taken at the local level.

I understand when a problem is larger than can be handled by a small group, additional resources must be identified and drawn into the pool. When I read a recent Washington Post article about a bus to deliver food to rural Tennessee, I learned the Department of Agriculture had allocated $400 million to feed children during the summer.

That money pales in comparison to the $15 billion Congress has allocated each year to feed 21 million low-income children in their schools, and that doesn’t count the $80 milli0n on SNAP. Those numbers were so staggering, I didn’t go on to find how much more we spend on other entitlement programs, like housing assistance and medical care.

So, I find myself seriously conflicted about this issue. In fact, I am often conflicted about many issues. That does not mean I am wishy-washy, it means I don’t just opine, but I try to see all sides of a problem.

Ultimately, my opinion revolves around the thought process to determine what makes the most sense to me. So my decisions are not based on what political party I favor, what church I attend, or what I am spoon fed by the media.

On the one hand, I absolutely agree, no child should go hungry in a nation as wealthy as ours. On the other hand is the solid belief that America simply cannot continue to amass debt. One of the best graphic sites I frequent is the US National Debt Clock. Watching those numbers rack up stirs a fright more powerful than a Stephen King novel.

The sequester has been all about reducing expenses. I understand that and as a good U.S. citizen, I am willing to sacrifice for my country, but as we approach the 6-month mark of unemployment, I am wondering what benefit has been achieved.

More and more money is required to feed and house the poor in America. We’ve always been a contributor to that process.

Now, we are not. I don’t think we are destined to wind up as recipients of those entitlement programs, but I certainly never thought we’d remain unemployed for six months either.

“To help people at all times” is part of the Girl Scout promise. It’s always been our promise too.

Connie Moser lives in Dale City, is the president of the Neabsco Action Alliance, and is active in several community organizations in Prince William County.

Editor’s Note: Connie Moser brings her neighborhood perspective to Potomac Local News in her debut column. Moser lives in Dale City, is active in several community organizations, and will pen a weekly Sunday column that will appear in this space.

Opinion 

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