Moser: Going Away Party was the Best Thing I Could Have Done

Around the beginning of August I broke the news my husband and I were going to be leaving Prince William County. I was so devastated by the changes coming to our lives that I wrote a column, comparing the relocation to the five stages of loss and grief. We typically think of those stages as
part of dying, but they are applicable to any major event in life that causes upheaval and loss.

Here’s an opportunity to put a number on your stress. This is science based on the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale and by answering this questionnaire can accurately predict your risk of serious illness resulting from stress.

I scored a 207, which states I have a moderate to high likelihood of serious illness forthcoming. I absolutely believe stress is an indicator for illness and note that when I had cancer, twice in my life, both occasions were times of great duress.

So, it’s not surprising (to me) that I resorted to ostrich mode and truly believed if I just avoided saying “goodbye” it might not happen. I refused several offers of farewell parties thinking I would suffer less if I just didn’t have to admit, “I’m never going to see you again.” I absolutely could not have been more wrong.

I don’t know what I was thinking, really. I knew I didn’t want any speeches or praise. All I’ve ever done is what I thought best for my community. It doesn’t seem like anything needs be said or glorified about that.

My friend and editor, Uriah Kiser, created a Facebook event titled: A Celebration for Connie Moser and then he invited me!  You can see photos from that event here and contrary to what I had previously believed, it was the best thing I could have done.

I had the opportunity to tell so many of my friends, “goodbye”, “I love you” and “I’ll never forget you.”

If Uriah hadn’t planned this event, I would have missed all those hugs and kisses. One of my friends, Gayle Whitlock, created a poster with all the groups I work for and guests were given markers to write a note. It’s something I’ll treasure forever. Friends brought books, gifts, flowers, and gift certificates, but what they brought most was memories.

Time is such a thief! I always thought I’d have plenty of time to go to dinners and lunches that were social. I was certain I could go to birthday parties when invited, just not “right now”. I thought there would be plenty of other opportunities to visit with friends.

I have made a clean break from all my commitments to focus on this move, but I’m going to continue to make time to see as many of my friends as possible, right up to the day I leave.

The next time I write to you from this page, it will be a look forward, not a look back. I’m going to be more like my friends Cindy Brookshire and Bonnie Nahas, who will also be leaving Prince William soon. I’m going to embrace what’s coming and try to lower that stress score!