Wheeler: ‘I try to keep our board meetings as civil as possible despite personal attacks’

The July 17, 2023, letter to the editor seems to assert that because I do not agree with policies that some constituents put forward, I am being uncivil. Civility has to do with the way we communicate and treat each other as people, not our policies. 

For those who have watched the Board of County Supervisors meetings, it will be recognized that I have almost always acted civilly to staff and public speakers.  I say almost because there was one instance when a public speaker put up a picture of me that included my daughter, and that crossed a line for me, which I hope is relatable to every parent out there.

I do not believe the families of elected officials should be brought into the conversation at any level, and that picture drew a reaction from me.  Otherwise, I have always tried to keep decorum in the Chambers no matter my stance on a policy. 

People often ask why I am not bothered but some of the personal attacks that people say at public comment time or in print. It’s because I believe they are not really taking issue with me; they object to either my policies or my politics, or sometimes both. 

Please know that when opposition to a policy fails to gain ground, a group will try to find fault with the process, and when they fail in an effort to discredit the process, they resort to attacking the person.  It’s inevitable, as shown by the personal attacks which have happened often over the last three and a half years.

I try to keep our board meetings as civil as possible while the personal and political attacks continue. I recognize this is where our nation is now, not just our community. I believe it needs to change, as I mentioned in my forward to The Wheeler Report (my weekly newsletter with a 60% open rate and distribution to over 3,000 residents), which stated:

“Promoting respectful and constructive political discourse is the responsibility of everyone within the community, myself included. There are ways in which we can all contribute to creating a culture in which changes to policy don’t lead to abusive language and incivility aimed at elected officials and our neighbors in the community.  To do this we must engage in political discussions with respect and refrain from personal attacks. Focus on the issues and treat others’ opinions with courtesy, even if you disagree. Seek common ground and emphasize shared values to help build understanding and bridge divisions. Attentively listen to others’ viewpoints without interruption is key to fostering constructive dialogue. Fact-checking information before sharing it ensures accuracy and helps prevent the spread of misinformation.”

Civility is how we treat each other, not our disagreements over policy.

PS: I am honored to be included in any letter to the editor that finds me in league with former President Obama because it lets me know I am on the right side of history.

Ann Wheeler
Prince William County Board of Supervisors Chair At-Large

Editors note: Ann Wheeler presides over the Prince William Board of County Supervisors, which manages the second-largest jurisdiction in Virginia. She was elected in 2019 and will complete her term on December 31, 2023, following a June 20, 2023 Primary Election loss.

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