The floor is now open for talking about race like never before

Lately, we’ve all faced the uncomfortable.

From big uncomfortable things like mounting death tolls and violence to small uncomfortable things like figuring out the right way to wear a mask at the grocery store. Now we’re faced with talking about race and it’s really, really uncomfortable.

Part of my job is to have emotional conversations with people about heartbreak, so I’ve become adept at facing the uncomfortable when it comes to grief and loss.

However, I recently had the opportunity to face the uncomfortable in a fresh way by being part of a live broadcast on race. I learned a lot from that experience, and if you’re looking to confront your own discomfort with talking about race, here are some ways to get started.

First, lean in. There will always be uncomfortable or taboo topics but the floor is now open for talking about race like never before.

Take advantage of it. Be open about what you think you know or what you learned growing up and ask questions so you can grow.

For some, leaning into the conversation about race looks like making signs and protesting, for others it looks like reading books on the subject of race.

If you’re like me, it could look like broadcasting uncomfortable conversations with black friends so others can see how to start a conversation like that and reach new understandings. Whatever your way, leaning in by playing an active and ongoing role in the conversation about race makes you an important part of a historic shift and I know someday you’ll look back and feel proud to have been a part of it.

Second, say yes to vulnerability.

For example, if talking about race is new to you like it is for me, be open about that. Many of us were taught it was wrong to mention race. For me, it feels intensely uncomfortable to call someone black or white.

During the broadcast, I jokingly suggested I would refer to myself as a nude woman because it feels weird to call myself a white woman. How uncomfortable must you have to be before you’d consider calling yourself a color synonymous with naked over calling yourself white? Pretty uncomfortable.

Thankfully, my jest turned out to be a marvelous way for all of us on the broadcast to laugh together and feel more at ease talking about something that had us each feeling vulnerable.

Finally, authenticity is key. Something that really struck home for me was how much authenticity counts here. Before I took part in this conversation about race, I was so worried about saying the wrong thing and causing hurt in an already raw spot I wasn’t saying much at all.

I’m a helper by nature and the idea that my attempts at conversation might come across as patronizing or cause someone pain was scary. During the broadcast, my friend and host Erica, a black woman, encouraged me to follow my heart. Even if I do or say something wrong, acting from that authentic place will allow my sincerity to outshine my gaffe and open the door for further understanding and connection.

When it comes to jumping into the conversation about race, go with your gut on what feels right. Whatever you decide, lean in, practice vulnerability, and remember authenticity matters more than knowing the right thing to say.

Have you already been taking part in the conversation about race? We’d love to hear what you’ve learned.

Danielle Daily is an Author, TEDx speaker, and Host of The Suddenly Single Show podcast where she brings hope to the heartbroken via inspiring interviews released each Monday morning. Find The Suddenly Single Show wherever you like to binge your favorite podcasts or at TheSuddenlySingleShow.com.