Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt is a poetry and prose writer who has lived in Prince William County since 1999. She has published six books and is working on a seventh. Learn more about her at KatherineGotthardt.com, and follow her work on Facebook by searching #KatherinesCoffeehouse.
By Katherine Mercurio Gotthardt
My parents used to say about people who weren’t motivated to do something necessary, “They’re fine. They just need a kick in the pants.”
That was the censored version, the one my mom demanded. My dad had other ways to say it that she didn’t approve of. We grew up with a certain amount of acceptable censorship because my mother didn’t want us “talking vulgar.” Except we lived in Massachusetts, so it was “vulgah.”
“Mom, is ‘butt’ a bad word?”
“Kathy, don’t be vulgah.”
So “pants” it was. Never mind that it seemed to be okay to kick someone. Life is full of contradictions.
Eventually, I settled into my independence and into speaking the way I felt most comfortable – which was often vulgar. I don’t think I thought too much about self-censoring until I had kids. That’s when I quickly learned I didn’t want my kids to sound what I was taught to be disrespectful, so I edited my words, at least until they were adults.
At this stage in life, I’ve reached a comfortable, happy medium, somewhere between both my parents’ versions of acceptable diction.
What motivates you to make life changes, or at least try?
For some changes, the motivation might seem obvious. “I want to lose weight so I can be healthier.” Or, “I want to change jobs so I can earn more money.” But what about the more complex things, the not-so-obvious, the quiet, underlying cause of action? What is really kicking you in the pants?
To get to these deeper answers, I suggest an activity I used to have my students do. I call it the Why Circle.
The premise is simple. You know how little kids ask “why” about everything? You do something similar. You keep asking “why” like a little kid until you get to a place where all the answers come back to the one before, in a circular manner.
So, for example, you say you want to change jobs to make more money. Why?
I want to afford more of the things I like.
Why?
They make me happy.
Why?
They make me feel free.
Why?
Because I don’t feel trapped.
Why?
Because I’m not poor, and being poor makes me feel trapped.
Why?
Because when I was little, we were poor, and we were stuck in a bad neighborhood.
Why?
Because my parents couldn’t get good jobs that paid enough.
You see how this works? You’re digging to the very essence of your motivation now, the real reason behind what propels you.
Why is this important to know?
Because when the going gets tough, you’ll need something more solid to fall back on, something more than, “I want to make money,” or “I want to wear a little black dress to the cocktail party.”
There’s more to it than that. There’s more to YOU than that.
Figure out what it is, and you’re more likely to stick to the path that gets you to your goals. Because in the end, even the most superficial among us are not truly superficial. There’s a reason behind the motivation.
Find what that is, and you’ll find even more motivation. And that will inspire you to continue your journey.
What is that
against my back?
The flat palm
of a convincing breeze
that urges idle swings to sway,
creeking old chains
in the empty playground.
Kinetic energy—
it makes the world go ‘round.
There is no better way
to stay ungrounded.
Okay. Now fly.
Until next time,
Katherine
Recent Stories
The preliminary hearing for Tryevon Davis, one of three men charged in connection with the fatal shooting of 43-year-old Jason Thomas Blake in Dumfries, has been delayed due to the pending completion of the Medical Examiner’s report. This critical evidence is being handled by the Virginia Department of Health (VDH) Northern District office.
Davis, along with Jerrome Thomas Barnes, 40, and Jackson Arthur Crisler, 30, face charges stemming from a fatal shooting on October 25, 2024. Police said Blake had gone to a residence on Cherry Hill Road in Dumfries to sell a firearm and purchase narcotics. An altercation ensued, leading to Blake being handcuffed, abducted, and taken to a secluded area along Triangle Street, where he was fatally shot. His body was discovered two days later in the backseat of his car.
The Prince William County Police Department charged Davis, 31, of Dumfries, with accessory before the fact in the commission of a felony, conspiracy to commit a felony, two counts of use of a firearm in the commission of a felony, and abduction. Barnes and Crisler face additional charges, including murder and possession of a firearm by a convicted felon. All three suspects remain in custody without bond.
The Fourth Wish Foundation invites the community to a special white belt graduation ceremony on Saturday, January 25, 2025, at 1:15 p.m. at Underground Krav Maga and Fitness in Gainesville.
The event celebrates the achievements of 54 children who have completed three months of Krav Maga training as part of the foundation’s “Healthy Kid Initiative,” a program launched in 2024 to provide extracurricular opportunities to children from financially challenged families.
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A debate over proposed legislation targeting panhandling in road medians sparked a spirited discussion among Stafford County Supervisors during their January 21 meeting. The proposed bill, sponsored by Delegate Paul Milde (R-64, Stafford County), seeks to impose fines on motorists and pedestrians who exchange items in roadway medians to improve safety and reduce traffic disruptions.
The legislation was also a topic of discussion on the Potomac Local News Podcast, where Milde elaborated on his rationale behind the bill in an interview with Publisher Uriah Kiser.
During the podcast, Milde emphasized the safety and traffic issues posed by panhandling in medians.
A speeding incident escalated into a high-speed pursuit Wednesday, January 21, 2025, on Interstate 95, according to Virginia State Police spokesman Matthew Demlein.
At 11:33 a.m., a Virginia State Police trooper attempted to stop a silver sedan traveling northbound on I-95 near the 157-mile marker in Prince William County for speeding—clocked at 93 mph in a 60-mph zone. The driver refused to stop, prompting a police pursuit.
During the chase, the sedan struck the mirror of another vehicle, causing minor damage, but no injuries were reported. The pursuit continued onto eastbound Interstate 495 and ultimately ended at the Woodrow Wilson Bridge, marking the Maryland state line. At that point, the pursuit was terminated.
Travel to French soil and join us for a night filled with two of the most beloved French traditions—no plane ticket required! ?
On January 25th, we invite you to experience the magic of Galette des Rois, a 700-year-old tradition celebrated across France throughout the entire month of January (and even beyond!). This sweet, almond-filled puff pastry topped with a golden crown isn’t just a treat—it’s a celebration! The lucky person who finds the fève (a porcelain charm hidden in one of the slices) becomes the King or Queen for the Day, and don’t worry—there will be plenty of royalty to go around! ??
But that’s not all! In France, Les Voeux (New Year’s wishes) continue throughout January, often accompanied by Champagne and good cheer. We’re bringing that festive spirit to you, with a lively evening packed with French food, wine, and music.
What’s in store:
Experience the passion and drama of Puccini’s “The Girl from the Golden West”.
Featuring special guest musicians from The Chesapeake Youth Orchestra,
this performance brings Puccini’s masterpiece to life with an extraordinary cast.
