Vexed About Pool Parking

After a long, somewhat chilly spring it’s finally summer. But not just summer – it’s the start of Beach Week. And if you’re reading this, then you are probably stuck in weekend getaway traffic and so bored you’re surfing the web on your over-priced phone.

I don’t blame you.

Traffic’s a given. That’s why I don’t go out of town just after school lets out for the summer. But I do go to the pool, and that’s why I’m vexed.

Every year on the busiest days, from the moment the swimming pool opens, some inconsiderate people double park in the already crowded pool parking lot. Yeah, I’m talking to you in the silver sedan with the Department of Defense parking sticker.

Thanks to you, Mr. Doubleparker, I have to park down the hill on the street and carry my family’s pool equipment. But it’s not just towels, swimming noodles, sunscreen, floats, boogie boards and the like that I have to haul. I also must load a heavy baby in his heavy car seat on top of a heavier stroller, which I have to push with my elbow, while calling out to my other child and his friend to please help out. But they’ve already run ahead, canon-balling into the water while yelling “Marco” and “Polo.”

Therefore, I have no choice but to destroy you with laser beams that I imagine shooting out of my eyes as I finally make it up the hill and pass your smugly double-parked car. Please forgive me as I envision another car parking next to yours and dinging the door because you’re way over the white line. And don’t mind the flier I put under the windshield advertising parking lessons. I’m doing everyone a favor.