Ride Involving 90 mph Speeds, iPad Ends with Angry Husband, Slug

Slug Tales 

By LAURA CIRILLO

Whew. It took me a while to calm down after that Slug ride. Some people just have no business having a license to drive, let alone transporting passengers in their car.

This lady was one of those people.

Looking back, I should have seen the signs. There she was, sitting in her SUV with the engine running and hazards flashing, windows down and nervously looking back and forth. I wasn’t sure what or who she was looking for, but she didn’t seem to be picking up riders, and she was blocking the slug line. The other slugs seemed annoyed, and some wondered out loud what she was doing there.

After waiting for a few minutes, I eventually stepped to the front of the line, right next to her car.

“I’ll take two!” she finally called out of the open window. She asked us both to sit in the back, so that her husband could sit up front. He was on his way.

Finally, the long-awaited husband arrived. He mentioned some sort of commotion in the Metro station, and then began talking about homes he had found online. Apparently, these two were house hunting.

I thought nothing of it until we started moving. As she merged onto the highway and then made her way from the far right lane to the far left lane to access the HOV lanes, he fumbled with his iPad, distracting her from driving.

Looking over to help him, she kept telling him what buttons to push.

“Pay attention to the road, will you?” he said, brushing her off.

“I am paying attention!” she retorted. “You don’t know what you’re doing.”

He finally figured it out, and I tried to close my eyes for a nap on the way home. It was impossible. The second my eyes shut, I’d feel the car jerk back into the other lane. She was driving like a maniac, tailgating every car in front of us. When we approached the back of a motorcycle, I cringed for its rider. Silently, I prayed for our safety and the safety of everyone around us.

The longer this went on, the worse I felt. I was a nervous wreck, wanting so badly to ask her to be more careful, yet not wanting to start a confrontation. I watched as the speedometer climbed to 85 mph, then up to 90. Her husband asked her to slow down a couple more times, but she ignored him, saying she was only trying to get home as quickly as possible.

I just wanted to get home, period.

The guy next to me was snoozing away, seemingly unaffected. I wondered if he was praying too, or if he was just that heavy a sleeper. I didn’t know how anyone could sleep through this nightmare of a ride.

I held my breath as she approached the back of a car at over 90 mph, full speed ahead. We were traveling so quickly, it almost appeared the car in front of us wasn’t even moving! As she finally hit the brakes, her husband asked her again to slow down.

“He’s not even going to speed limit!” she snapped back. I let out an exasperated sigh, and hoped that it made a point.

It didn’t.

When her husband began showing her photos of homes on the iPad, I could only stare in disbelief. Not thinking the ride could get any worse, each time he held up another photo and she looked over her shoulder, she would start veering to the right, then jerking the wheel back to the left. I just about lost my cool entirely when we almost collided with some sort of large construction vehicle.

Just a few more miles, I thought…

When she finally pulled off the highway for the Horner Road commuter lot exit, she asked where we wanted to be let out.

“First lot! Let me out as soon as possible!” I blurted out. My bags were in my lap and my hand was already on the door handle, ready to jump out.

Just when I thought it was almost over, she stopped short, nearly rear ending the guy in front of us.

“Great, thanks for not killing us all!” The words escaped my mouth before I could think it through. I was desperately trying to open the door to let myself out, but the doors were locked. “Please let me out!” I exclaimed, shaking the handle. I’d had enough at that point, and couldn’t take another second in that car.

“That’s it – get out. I’m driving,” said the husband, jumping out at the same time.

“What? Why?” I heard her ask. I didn’t wait around to hear any more – the second my feet hit the pavement, I was out of there.

It took me a while to calm down, and I wasn’t exactly sure why I had gotten so upset. I guess something about having your life flash before your eyes tends to have that effect.

I’ve said before that I don’t typically turn down slug rides, but honestly, I’d rather walk home than ever get in a car with that lady again!