Moser

Do you know what these words signify?

1. Denial and Isolation
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

If you said the five stages of death and dying you are correct!

I am neither dead nor dying but for the last 18 months it seemed like it. That is how long my husband has been looking for a job.

We shared denial: It was not a surprise to be laid off when the sequester was first broached. It was not unexpected that Bill, a senior level Oracle DBA, would be one of the first to go. The denial began when he didn’t get another job right away.

We experienced some anger: “Why us?”

We did a little bargaining: “Bill could work without benefits. Bill could take a pay cut. Bill could work part-time.”

Depression was complicated. It felt more like fear. “What will we do? What will happen to us?

So, here’s where we are: Bill may have a job at Fort Knox, but if that falls through, we are still going to have to move.

The grief I am experiencing is because I hate leaving my friends and my community. The anger is because I feel we are forced to make this decision by forces beyond our control…the economy, the cost of living, our age.

More than anything I am incredibly sad that our only alternative has become selling our home and moving some place where the cost of living is lower.

Still, I am aware how lucky we are. We will not have to sleep in a tent under a tarp like many unfortunate folks. We will not have to worry about starving to death or suffering from heat and cold. I am grateful for those things.

I can’t begin to describe to you how much I have loved my life in Prince William County. What a joy it’s been to serve my community in so many capacities.

I don’t have the words to tell you how much I hate to leave. We never expected to leave and we certainly don’t want to do so but we can’t just keep watching our bank account empty at this rapid pace. We were six and a half years away from retirement when Bill lost his job. We just can’t wait any longer or hope a job is going to open up.

We’re still going to be here a while. If Bill gets the job, he’ll be leaving in a couple of weeks. I’ll have to stay here and go through 30 years of possessions and decide what we take, sell or donate. My goal is to be gone before the holidays.

Oh, I didn’t write about the last stage, acceptance! I guess I haven’t hit that yet.

 

Have Something to Say?